Sirius Black (sirius_black888) wrote in parchment_bits,
Sirius Black

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Sirius' diary - 1st September 1976

Dia Oh, whatever!

I'm at Hogwarts, now, sitting on the roof. Why am I on the roof instead of being inside the dorm, catching up with my friends? BECAUSE I'D FUCKING KILL SOMEONE IF I WASN'T ALONE!
First day of a whole new year, a whole new beginning, they say. Bloody brilliant! If today was just a foreshadowing of the rest of the year, mine will be fucking spiffing, I say.

So, when Prongs and I arrived at Platform 9 3/4, Moony and Wormtail were already waiting for us. If they thought anything about seeing us arriving together, they didn't show. We were chatting and everything was fine. We were together, and that was what mattered.
Then they arrived. The whole bloody House of Black parading in front of the entire Hogwarts and families. Well, not the entire House, since Andromeda, her daughter and uncle Alphard obviously weren't part of the party, but even Bellatrix was there, and she's no longer at Hogwarts (though she looked rather put off by it, and among all the Bads, that was actually a Good). But, anyway, my entire former family making a show of taking the younger ones to the train, family unity for the world to see.
Funny, I don't remember a single time when anyone of them took any of us to the train before. No, they weren't rubbing it in my face. No, they weren't trying to humiliate me and show me how I no longer am one of them. At all. Like I care.

Moony and Wormtail were staring at me, trying to figure out what was going on. I just told them I was staying at the Potters now and stared back at them, daring them to say anything. But they just nodded knowingly and changed the subject. Good, if they had as much as showed any kind of sympathy, pity, sympathy, if they as much as offer to lend an ear, I'd lose it. I already know what's going on, thank you very much, I don't have to see it on other people faces

Unfortunately not everybody has heard of discretion. Obviously either Regulus or Narcissa must have told Sna Snivellus, because, when we were already on the train, he went after us and asked me, in front of everybody, why hadn't I been with my family them, since they obviously must have come to bid me farewell.
I didn't even think about it. One moment I was reaching my wand, the next moment I had cast a Bat Bogey Hex on Snivellus and was about to do much worse.
But of course, nothing can happen anywhere without Evans interfering (Evans is this vixen Prongs is helplessly and hopelessly in love lust with). She grabbed my left elbow and pulled hard to stop me.

That's when Hell started to break lose.

See, the problem with my left elbow comes from the day I left home. That night we had had a huge fight during dinner, until father sent me to my room. I was so pissed, it was so unfair, I started to break everything in my room. But soon I was out of things to break, yet I needed more. I needed to break, to destroy things, to give them a reason to say all those horrible things to me
So I hauled myself against the wall. Broke the plaster and everything. And of course, broke my arm just below the elbow.
Quite the state I arrived in at the Potters, tired, sweaty, dirty and with my left arm at an odd angle. Sophie and Theodore (those are Prongs' parents) wanted to take me to Saint Mungo's, but I refused. I was afraid someone would tip off my parents.
So Sophie took care of it. She did the best she could, but of course she's no Pomfrey, which means my arm is taking a while to recover completely.

Anyway, what happened was that the moment Evans pulled it, it HURT. A lot. And without thinking I turned and pushed her hard. She hadn't noticed she'd hurt me, so she immediately assumed I was some sort of troll that goes around attacking girls and did her 2nd mistake. She said Snivellus was right in thinking it was odd I hadn't said goodbye to my family, but that was probably because I'm a spoiled brat who probably finds it too embarrassing to have mother giving me a farewell kiss. Because that would probably ruin my image.

Merlin, I snapped completely. I started to shout at her, telling her not to speak about what she didn't know of.
And then I called her mudblood.

The silence could have been cut with a knife. The shock in everybody's face was the most horrible thing I've ever seen. Fucking hypocrites! Always so correct, always doing the sensible thing, when I can only imagine what they think about the likes of Moony
I didn't mean it. I didn't. I just wanted to hurt her. Like she did to me And that was the first thing that occurred to me. I didn't even realise what I was saying.
Funny enough, Evans didn't look too hurt. More like smug, like she had proven something.


The rest of the day was crap. I don't even remember the Sorting, as I was too occupied trying not to sulk.

Now I'm here on the rooftop, sulking, while Prongs is probably telling the others what happened during summer.
I'll stay here until they've all fallen asleep. I don't want to face see anyone.

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